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Hipster on the train is eating a Push-Up for breakfast.

White lady reading chick lit is snuggling up pretty close to me, like really close, and she has room on the other side. Reading "Something Blue."

Must be because I smell great. I finally showered. There's something about working from home that makes me never want to shower. I got pretty ripe. I shaved finally, too.

A baby won't shut the fuck up. Kids are so gotdam rude.

Miss Chick Lit likes to snuggle. Shut up Mr. Baby. Mr. Hipster thinks he's Peter Pan. I ride with the threesixnine.