330pm

ok so like once upon a time etc etc there was this fella [HERO] and he was actually kinda cheezy but for some reason [DRUGMONEY] he thought he was like the shit

and shit

man

and umm like he had season tickets for an NBA team and the seats were fuckin pimp ok i mean right down there in the mix all right and truth be told dude [CRINGE] was wearing like a green sweat suit and green sneakers and had a fade and a gold chain jeezus why am I telling you this and he wore cool water and popped the gum in his mouth like a baboon or some shit and he and his buddy [FAMOUS CHEF] got drunk on the way to the game in our hero's brand spanking new ride [GRAND CHEROKEE] and plus they were snorting blow off the top of a cd case [STR8 OUTTA COMPTON]

so like

as you prolly surmise they were totally fucked up before they even got to the game and then once there the drinking continued and the cocaine sniffing moved to the bathroom stalls yada yada.

hear me. our boy was sweaty.

and indiscriminately talkative.

and like the teams were on the floor for the shootaround and our man was bustin on shawn kemp from the third row for having like nine thousand kids and he looked around to see who else thought he was funny and lo and behold he saw a girl -

a famous singer

and he always used to fuck to her songs and for some reason he thought that meant she would like him so he climbed up a couple of rows in front of twenty hundred million fans and said some stupid shit to her [BREATHE AGAIN]

she smiled

she did

and she was out with someone and the dude thought he was weird al so he said whassup weird al and maybe even starting singing bits of eat it

but our boy

our poor stupid boy

never once thought to look around and gauge other ppls reactions [MIGHTA HELPED]

and then all of a sudden a huge wall dressed like a suit stood up [SUGE KNIGHT'S DBL] and said motherfucker that is KENNY G AND IF YOU DO NOT GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW BLAH BLAH BLAH

and the singer was no longer smiling in fact she was kinda standing behind the bodyguard and everyone in section whatever was watching and pointing and laughing so our boy went for it he said FUCK YOU RENT-A-COP

and

the rent-a-cop said OH YEAH and pulled out a badge identifying himself as a federal agent and told dude to sit his ass down or jail was in his future his immediate future.

so dude sat down.

i mean.

wtf else could he do?

after that he tried to order a drink but the waitress would not serve him.

the game hadn't even started.

everyone was staring. eye lasers.

when he finally worked up the nerve to turn around again it was the fourth quarter and the singer was gone.

----------------------

Lish told me not to be afraid.

There you have it.

I hope you choke on the words and die.