He's so smoove
She's so raw bone
They had a baby made of words
And named it
Go Fuck Your Mother Tampon
~369 forever~
1035 | lookit me |
7 QUESTIONS WITH TY BLUESMITH
[interview conducted by Freaky Stinkypussy the hohum typer i mean supastar.]
1. who is the best on the interwebs?
- me. two way tie for second: rotto and 33.
2. what sets you apart from the rest?
- giant cock. blue eyes.
3. what is your favorite thing?
- me. followed by girls who like my asdf.
4. what is your dog's name?
- i have three. they are all named ty.
5. tell me something about your day so far.
- there was a girl. asian. high school. walking to the bus stop. it was freezing outside. i was wearing a long sleeve shirt over a short sleeve one while i ran but she was wearing a tank top and little shorts and flip flops. i could tell she was afraid becuz she walked way around me. she had that pouty bougie asian-american girl look on her face. and there were purple streaks in hurr long shiny thick hair. but like. as far as the attitude is concerned: what kinda high school girl of any standing rides the bus to school after the first few days yaheard. regardless when she turns 18 i would do her. but not before becuz that shit is illegal as fuck yo. oh. it was also dark outside.
6. you've said a million time you only read the niner. why?
- becuz most of those other [ahem] writers on the web look like art major kids who spent four years crammed into the corner of the cafeteria writing band names on their pants with sharpies while i was out mackin hoes at keggers. i mean. i might like to be friends now but unfortunately i used to whip apples across the lunchroom at those ppl and i think some of them remember. however - i'm not talkin shit about mel bosworth or anyone else i currently like tho - those guys are all cool. but - as you know - ty2thaB is a fickle mofo. and his opinions change with the wind baybay. so protect ya neck.
7. ok. wow. so you have no problem talking about yourself in the third person then?
- this interview is over. go fuck your mother.
[interview conducted by Freaky Stinkypussy the hohum typer i mean supastar.]
1. who is the best on the interwebs?
- me. two way tie for second: rotto and 33.
2. what sets you apart from the rest?
- giant cock. blue eyes.
3. what is your favorite thing?
- me. followed by girls who like my asdf.
4. what is your dog's name?
- i have three. they are all named ty.
5. tell me something about your day so far.
- there was a girl. asian. high school. walking to the bus stop. it was freezing outside. i was wearing a long sleeve shirt over a short sleeve one while i ran but she was wearing a tank top and little shorts and flip flops. i could tell she was afraid becuz she walked way around me. she had that pouty bougie asian-american girl look on her face. and there were purple streaks in hurr long shiny thick hair. but like. as far as the attitude is concerned: what kinda high school girl of any standing rides the bus to school after the first few days yaheard. regardless when she turns 18 i would do her. but not before becuz that shit is illegal as fuck yo. oh. it was also dark outside.
6. you've said a million time you only read the niner. why?
- becuz most of those other [ahem] writers on the web look like art major kids who spent four years crammed into the corner of the cafeteria writing band names on their pants with sharpies while i was out mackin hoes at keggers. i mean. i might like to be friends now but unfortunately i used to whip apples across the lunchroom at those ppl and i think some of them remember. however - i'm not talkin shit about mel bosworth or anyone else i currently like tho - those guys are all cool. but - as you know - ty2thaB is a fickle mofo. and his opinions change with the wind baybay. so protect ya neck.
7. ok. wow. so you have no problem talking about yourself in the third person then?
- this interview is over. go fuck your mother.
2106 | the light outside is fading |
Ice cream truck music
A flag flaps
Two women who are not students in a laptop classroom
Something big teaches a hard lesson
Clorox smell
Light a match
Curls of smoke
From cash money
1847 | dos cosas |
1. Someone needs to contact the Royal Academy of Science for me. We are still finding Easter grass in our house and I am convinced that shit is reproducing. Oh whatta paper I will present.
2. I hope xtx's house is not on fire right now.
2. I hope xtx's house is not on fire right now.
1725 | omgwtf with being alone intervention please |
The bathroom has never been so clean. I am obsessed with the toilet bowl, a sure sign of loneliness. Blue water that turns green reminds me of white sandy beaches and palm trees, not the hot stream shooting from my dick. Daily cleanings with soooo many different products. Counter wipings, trash emptying. This new behavior scares me.
1148 | I sat on the toilet so long that when I stood up my legs were asleep and I feel down and cracked a tooth on a tile |
Not really, but I did just take a big dump
1656 | oh how they cheered for you |
it was like a comeback fantasy.
no. a kickass sex dream.
wait.
it was like an arrival.
yeah. totally an arrival.
[fresh on the scene.]
and you were all big and bad and shit and like the flashbulbs were going off and ppl were holding up phones and recording you as you stepped from the limo the
hummer limo fuck yeah
eight ball on the bar you
were all fuck you man i don't give a fuck.
right?
you conqueror.
you raisin in the sun.
everyone was so very all about you.
and you totally knew you had finally arrived.
no. a kickass sex dream.
wait.
it was like an arrival.
yeah. totally an arrival.
[fresh on the scene.]
and you were all big and bad and shit and like the flashbulbs were going off and ppl were holding up phones and recording you as you stepped from the limo the
hummer limo fuck yeah
eight ball on the bar you
were all fuck you man i don't give a fuck.
right?
you conqueror.
you raisin in the sun.
everyone was so very all about you.
and you totally knew you had finally arrived.
1547 [fartnoise]
I forgot where I was for like 1.4 seconds in the break room while I was making tea and I just ripped a juicy one
like, I know they heard it outside the break room
I'm double-bagging
1450 [genius words spoken]
"it's like when you'd walk past the art bldg and alla the art students would be outside smoking and staring at the ground. that's what the internet writing scene reminds me of"
1422.369
i cant look at those feet while eating lucky charms omg fucking disgusting i hate nasty feet
1138
backspacing thru sentences dont write this dont write that no wait stop highlight and delete that shit it is too personal they will know your plans they will laugh they will say yeah right oh sure ya are man
dude
man dude hey fella nice try ty ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
lookit another failure hahahahaheeheee umm
ok maybe this sounds a bit paranoid-ish right ok i will come right out and say it hi i jacked off so much i got a rugburn-like abrasion on my weenus ok not true ok it is true ok plz dont tell anyone especially the ppl i am trying to impress at the current time like [internet edit] and [internet edit] and guess who [internet edit] hi i am working on the notes for my new book hi i might cheese on the research and use wikipedia hi fucking sue me hi an agent i really want to sign with has my manuscript hi i have not heard a word yet hi it makes me fucking nervous hi i ran for an hour today hi i am thinking of making running a marathon my new years resolution hi in all honesty i might need another year of training hi the idea is so exciting hi running makes me high
hi and so does the asdf of course hi
i dont know why you read my shit hi i am prolly most likely leaving myself wide open with that last statement hi know what you can blow me just do it gently hi my girl is prettier than a lot of other ppls girls hi that makes me feel like i am better than you just kidding hi not really
hi
i want to share my innermost thoughts with you but truth be told i really dont have any hi and also just so you know i dont always tell the truth hi i consider lying a necessary defense mechanism hi [fucking sue me] hi
wont you walk with me in the cool evening air and tell me funny stories about your day i need that so fucking badly even tho i act all put out and shit when you talk i guess
idk
im just a gangster i suppose god bless and just so you know bibby
im not lookin for vegas and im not lookin for legal im lookin for frankie fuckin four fingers
yaheard
tybsmith. land of the free.
dude
man dude hey fella nice try ty ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
lookit another failure hahahahaheeheee umm
ok maybe this sounds a bit paranoid-ish right ok i will come right out and say it hi i jacked off so much i got a rugburn-like abrasion on my weenus ok not true ok it is true ok plz dont tell anyone especially the ppl i am trying to impress at the current time like [internet edit] and [internet edit] and guess who [internet edit] hi i am working on the notes for my new book hi i might cheese on the research and use wikipedia hi fucking sue me hi an agent i really want to sign with has my manuscript hi i have not heard a word yet hi it makes me fucking nervous hi i ran for an hour today hi i am thinking of making running a marathon my new years resolution hi in all honesty i might need another year of training hi the idea is so exciting hi running makes me high
hi and so does the asdf of course hi
i dont know why you read my shit hi i am prolly most likely leaving myself wide open with that last statement hi know what you can blow me just do it gently hi my girl is prettier than a lot of other ppls girls hi that makes me feel like i am better than you just kidding hi not really
hi
i want to share my innermost thoughts with you but truth be told i really dont have any hi and also just so you know i dont always tell the truth hi i consider lying a necessary defense mechanism hi [fucking sue me] hi
wont you walk with me in the cool evening air and tell me funny stories about your day i need that so fucking badly even tho i act all put out and shit when you talk i guess
idk
im just a gangster i suppose god bless and just so you know bibby
im not lookin for vegas and im not lookin for legal im lookin for frankie fuckin four fingers
yaheard
tybsmith. land of the free.
1025 [nice]
"The CEO for anti-animal cruelty group, Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (Richmond SPCA), Robin Starr has admitted to leaving her 16-year old blind and deaf dog in a hot car for four hours. The dog, Louie, later died of kidney failure."
via USA Today
via USA Today
1458 [all so simple then]
i was dreaming baby we were in an old car yeah we had the windows rolled down yeah our skin was stickin to the vinyl seats yeah a long-dead dog of mine was drippin slobber in the back it
was summer man so long ago following spitboy around on their summer tour empty ginseng-up bottles on the floor clinking around my feet
oh way back when in the days of cassettes man mike deeeee was always blastin from the dash oh to have those days again yeah
cut-off dickies and vans no shirt for me no chest hair either and you baby you
in a tight ass wifebeater so skinny and popular just us spending our parents' money like it was our own oh
man i miss those days
man i miss those
but the police killed the punk rockers in tompkins square and just like us everything had to change i suppose
diet for a new america became business law textbooks and i never looked back until it was too late baby until it was way too fuckin late
was summer man so long ago following spitboy around on their summer tour empty ginseng-up bottles on the floor clinking around my feet
oh way back when in the days of cassettes man mike deeeee was always blastin from the dash oh to have those days again yeah
cut-off dickies and vans no shirt for me no chest hair either and you baby you
in a tight ass wifebeater so skinny and popular just us spending our parents' money like it was our own oh
man i miss those days
man i miss those
but the police killed the punk rockers in tompkins square and just like us everything had to change i suppose
diet for a new america became business law textbooks and i never looked back until it was too late baby until it was way too fuckin late
1203 [real tears]
"the line breaks make this hard for me to read i suggest you look for another agent."
THE INTERVIEW
Sir Henry Nutrider interview with the Untouchable Crew.
Answering questions: DooDooButtJones, Buttfinch McGee, Frankie Fuckin Four Fingers.
1. IMHO a lot of Internet writing is only found on the Internet because it is not very good. To be fair, I sometimes think that writers often rush drafts to the web before the process is complete. If that is indeed the case, why do you suppose it happens?
DDBJ: The urgency to see one's writing online is the same urge you have when you squeeze out a Cleveland Steamer on someone's chest.
BFMc: I suppose it happens because writers tend to want immediate gratification, so they prematurely ejaculate their work without properly working it first.
FFFF: Everyone wants petted.
2. As so-called writers, what causes us to assert to other writers that their stuff is good when we often believe otherwise, and sometimes go so far as to talk about those people behind their backs?
DDBJ: Um, I am a writer. So are you and so is [insert fake name]. And a word is coming to mind ... almost have it ... maybe it's two words, I can't tell: ass-kissing. I prefer to talk about myself.
BFMc: I only tell people their stuff is good if i feel it is good. If I think their stuff is not very good, I tend to just smile and nod, which, on the Internet, is not easy to see - i.e. I really don't say much of anything. I don't do much 'behind the back talking.'
FFFF: Mostly I do it to get something. I’m all about me.
3. Do you believe, deep down, that you are a good writer?
DDBJ: Are you serious? This is a question?
BFMc: No
FFFF: If ya don’t know now ya know.
4. Are you sick of the word “good” being in every question thus far? [I am.]
DDBJ: I like peas.
BFMc: No.
FFFF: I speak good English.
5. Be honest. What percent of the stuff you read online do you actually like?
DDBJ: I try to only read stuff I like. I give new stuff a few sentences to grab me or else snore, hit button, move on, maybe watch porn. So, maybe like 90% because that's the percentage made up by Ty B, xTx, and ~otto~. No that's not fair. There is a lot of good writing on the Internet, you just have to find it all yourself, which sucks, which is why publishers (who publish on paper) still rule the day. They sift through it for you -- AND CHARGE MONIES. Mel Bosworth, Jimmy Chen and lots of others out there are kicking ass.
BFMc: Not sure, maybe 65%
FFFF: I like my friends. Sometimes I decide people are not my friends anymore and then I admit that they sucked all along.
6. Have you thought things out past that magical, mystical day of “discovery?”
DDBJ: There are sparklers and bunnies and strippers and moist cake.
BFMc: Nope.
FFFF: Yep. I’m gonna talk more shit about fake-ass ball sweaters and their shitty websites.
7. Do you think discovery will happen just by someone happening upon your words somewhere?
DDBJ: Happens all the time. Just not to me.
BFMc: Yes.
FFFF: Retarded question.
8. Do you hate yourself as much as I hate myself?
DDBJ: I love the hate.
BFMc: probably.
FFFF: I only act like I hate myself to manipulate people.
9. What do you hope to gain from writing? And please be honest, don’t give an answer you think you are supposed to, or one that is directed at some reader you’ve never met but feel you must placate.
DDBJ: Freedom. Oh, and pussy. Lots of pussy. Mainly pussy. Freedom is cool, too, though, I guess. I do not know. Orgies? Internet interviews? You tell me. Wait, no, this is it: to never die.
BFMc: Good question. Not sure. Fame and fortune would probably be the end all, but as I highly doubt that would happen, um, respect and admiration of strangers? Peace of mind maybe. Feelings of awesomeness....
FFFF: Enough money to get my partner off my back about working.
10. Will you tweet this interview to your followers?
DDBJ: Fuck Twitter in the goat ass.
BFMc: No.
FFFF: Hells to the yeah.
11. Would you like to see my penis?
BFMc: already did.
FFFF: Penis Week.
12. What motivates you to sit down and type every day?
DDBJ: See No. 9.
BFMc: A feeling like a sneeze or like when you need to shit. It must be eliminated.
FFFF: Chicks with hot bodies.
13. Does Internet writing set you free?
DDBJ: No, it's a shackle. Like I have to do Internet interviews all the time.
BFMc: i think so.
FFFF: Yes.
14. Where do you see yourself [in regards to writing] in five years?
DDBJ: At a desk, typing and masturbating and typing and masturbating. Maybe drinking or eating small baggies of things I like. Or not. Maybe just listening to the sounds from the street.
BFMc: Published in some form somewhere, and hopefully a lot better than I am now.
FFFF: Acting like a famous dickhead.
15. What makes you think you can tell Ty Bluesmith what to do?
DDBJ: Kobe.
BFMc: because he is my bitch.
FFFF: I am Ty Bluesmith.
1314
1. k-y is for butt fuckin
2. the running store just called they have my nipguards
3. i want a new pair of brooks
4. my house is a noise factory
5. perhaps we quarter soldiers
6. the footsteps sound that heavy
7. how does crying babies make you feel
8. it makes me feel like jumping off the roof
9. dad my leg bleeded on the carpet in the den
10. dad she broke my bracelet
11. who lives in a pineapple under the sea
12. can i have my bug juice now
13. how bout now
14. ok ok gosh you're soooo mean
15. another possible lit agent
16. reading plantagenet fiction
17. more loud footsteps
18. oww i telling
19. just keep typing
20. you said you'd only be on the computer for a minute
21. it's been like five
22. dad the baby is still awake
23. dad she stole my laffy taffy
24. dad sam kissed freddy on icarly
25. dad do you think sam is pretty
26. just keep typing
2. the running store just called they have my nipguards
3. i want a new pair of brooks
4. my house is a noise factory
5. perhaps we quarter soldiers
6. the footsteps sound that heavy
7. how does crying babies make you feel
8. it makes me feel like jumping off the roof
9. dad my leg bleeded on the carpet in the den
10. dad she broke my bracelet
11. who lives in a pineapple under the sea
12. can i have my bug juice now
13. how bout now
14. ok ok gosh you're soooo mean
15. another possible lit agent
16. reading plantagenet fiction
17. more loud footsteps
18. oww i telling
19. just keep typing
20. you said you'd only be on the computer for a minute
21. it's been like five
22. dad the baby is still awake
23. dad she stole my laffy taffy
24. dad sam kissed freddy on icarly
25. dad do you think sam is pretty
26. just keep typing
1944 [opportunity is the flipside of crisis]
i lied for you
yes i did
i lied for you and everyone who knows me knows i do not lie knows i am all sensitive and good and shit mr shiny coat of armor mr honor mr here lemme lay my cloak across yonder puddle for you fair damsel.
but no longer.
you made me lie for you. and now i cannot look at my face in the mirror.
but bitch just know i am gonna get paid back handsomely for lying for you.
you might wanna bring some tissues yeah to
help you wipe up the jizz you are going to coax from my guilt-wracked penis.
i mean.
not to be a blackmailer and shit but it would suck if someone found out the truth wouldn't it oooooh on your knees.
yes i did
i lied for you and everyone who knows me knows i do not lie knows i am all sensitive and good and shit mr shiny coat of armor mr honor mr here lemme lay my cloak across yonder puddle for you fair damsel.
but no longer.
you made me lie for you. and now i cannot look at my face in the mirror.
but bitch just know i am gonna get paid back handsomely for lying for you.
you might wanna bring some tissues yeah to
help you wipe up the jizz you are going to coax from my guilt-wracked penis.
i mean.
not to be a blackmailer and shit but it would suck if someone found out the truth wouldn't it oooooh on your knees.
1453 | Someone Needs to Explain How Facebook Works to Abstinence-Practicing, Love Cave-Sporting Tracy |
1749 [note from GL]
"To be safe is to repose entirely within the drawing of the draft. You will fail if you do it halfway. You can't just be free on the page. You must be free in your life."
1751 [i was napping on the couch]
in my dream you were january jones and we fucked while you smoked nineteen sixties madison avenue cigarettes in my dream you were my mom and i took money from your purse yeah bitch what of it you made daddy leave us no just kidding in my dream you were my neighbor crying over the death of the rottweiler you keep letting shit in my yard uh huh yep poison hotdog in the pooping grounds haha in my dream i orgasmed in my boxers and felt the come trickle down my leg when i blew your head off for saying "ohhhhh i donttttt evennnnn ownnnn a teeeveeeee" like you think you are smart and shit instead of just a stupid broke bitch in my dream you were a self-hating immigrant who talked like the ppl you wish you were in my dream i google earthed your address and saw your fat ass getting out of your piece of shit car with ninety hundred mcdonald's bags lard-o in my dream i stole your debit card in my dream i bought bulk candy from the grocery store in my dream alla the employees were gigantic and dark and moved oh so slowly and so did the matching customers ok that part was not in my dream it really happened they were all like fuck you whiteboy obama is the king of our black planet now ok that part did not happen in my dream i was like so what bitch ring up my chick-o-sticks plz ok that part happened only i said i like your name diamond it will come in handy if you ever decide to leave cashiering behind and become a stripper ok i left the stripping part out ok i said i like your skinny waist and how you talk white to me and black to the guy who was in line before me who looked like tom joyner i mean i said hey hotsexybaby i am trying to say that i admire your ability to adapt like a chameleon i mean i talked black one time but ppl called me a whigger i mean i talked black one time but ppl called me eminem i mean i hate to say it sweet diamond but lines are drawn irregardless of whatever we pretend and we are on different sides of that line but like idk i mean we could still have some forbidden love anyway right if you did not mind fucking the cracker with the prettiest weenus of all time a guy
who buys candy with a debit card he takes from a halfway wealthy girl who is stupid enough to love his lying eyes -
btw -
which are also pretty as all get out.
one.
who buys candy with a debit card he takes from a halfway wealthy girl who is stupid enough to love his lying eyes -
btw -
which are also pretty as all get out.
one.
1920 / I like to party /
Mom holds daughter, who just shit on her (no diaper), and daughter holds a plastic guitar that plays on its own, and every kid is a screaming Jedi, and daughter stuffs her face with a sandwich, and a cold cut slaps the floor, and mom tells a story, and grabs another wipey to get the shit off her leg and daughter's leg, and the guitar is riffing, like I said, and now I can smell the legs, and dad is playing with Legos like ain't shit happening and, oh, shit is definitely happening, and the speakers blare a song that sounds like "Hey Jude" but it is puppets singing "Hey Food," so I stuff another ice-cream cup cake in my ice-cream cup cake hole, and sip a green bottle of sweating beer, and grab a chip for the artichoke dip, and the daughter is crying and the mom is talking and wiping legs, and a balloon pops but dad won't look up from the Legos, and maybe diabetes is not so bad, so I eat another ice-cream cup cake.
1036 [waitin]
this agent and that agent has your manuscript and you keep checking your email
checking your email checking your
email you are
like man
come on plz read my shit and get back to me already this is worse than the instant rejections
like wtf will i do if this flag does not fly ah
oh fuck surely someone can sell this it contains every dream you ever had every goal every scar the
motherfuckin memory of every lie you ever believed every
shot to the dome you ever took right i mean
dude
it is all there hidden in the asdf about something else right like totally disguised behind other words [sore fingers and wrists] but you are in there aren't you somewhere watching your up/front confident assertions from some place within your terrified insides the
fear of failure [a lifetime of failures] eating away at you tearing
you up voices no one else hears laughing at you the poor kid at school the new kid at school
the
body that is a shell of wishes umm i mean really the body
that is a shell of will pushing you thru each day giving you the courage to send another query to
say goddamn you
I AM
checking your email checking your
email you are
like man
come on plz read my shit and get back to me already this is worse than the instant rejections
like wtf will i do if this flag does not fly ah
oh fuck surely someone can sell this it contains every dream you ever had every goal every scar the
motherfuckin memory of every lie you ever believed every
shot to the dome you ever took right i mean
dude
it is all there hidden in the asdf about something else right like totally disguised behind other words [sore fingers and wrists] but you are in there aren't you somewhere watching your up/front confident assertions from some place within your terrified insides the
fear of failure [a lifetime of failures] eating away at you tearing
you up voices no one else hears laughing at you the poor kid at school the new kid at school
the
body that is a shell of wishes umm i mean really the body
that is a shell of will pushing you thru each day giving you the courage to send another query to
say goddamn you
I AM
0625
hi i was screaming in my sleep hi she said i was yelling TURNONTHELIGHTTURNONTHELIGHT hi she said dude firefox was fucking up and i could not close my chase acct it took me a second to get in here hi i was like fuck the fuckin browsers hi omg my dream was horrible hi she was like what was it hi i was like dude unbelievable i was writing messages to something really evil and nasty on a fogged up mirror in a hotel room bathroom and it was answering me with words of its own on the glass holy fuck and then
but
like you know how when you try to talk about a dream it makes no sense sometimes right so i was like fuck it and stopped babbling at her and went downstairs and had frosted flakes with soy milk it was 130 am in the land of the free hi
tyb
kisses to the kissable
dap to all the rest
but
like you know how when you try to talk about a dream it makes no sense sometimes right so i was like fuck it and stopped babbling at her and went downstairs and had frosted flakes with soy milk it was 130 am in the land of the free hi
tyb
kisses to the kissable
dap to all the rest
2030 | sit on it |
It has not been fucked on (at least not by me), shit on, pissed on, scratched to shit. No dent. There is a stain, though, and a cigarette burn, but I do not know those stories so I do not care because they remind me of nothing. On sale for free. Carried up four flights of stairs in unconditioned passageways and rooms, slid along the floor, sweat marks all over it and our clothes, cushions tossed on dirty parquet. The room is smaller now, more comfortable, less memorable. No, not less memorable, it's just that there is less to forget, which feels a lot like letting go.
2024 [bitches]
eatin candy typin fast typin here typin there checkin tweets ninety hundred email accts three ppl to talk to listening to don juan over and over holdin on hold that line
fuck your mother
hold that line holdin on whaddup baby howyadoin can i buy you ladies a drink no i mean can yall buy me one no not really i have money baby im so fuckin rich here
here is my card check it out but umm like the number is my old number tho here lemme write the new one on the back hey you know what here is my email instead nah wait come to think of it just google ty bsmith momma the internet knows me i been showing my cock showing my
bloods for years ever since the days of alt dot nerd ok
google me fuckin hit me up when you see that green light that glight oh my shit is tight oh your body is right fuckin hold me no not really that shit makes me cringe and also we cant kiss on acct of i dont know your flossing status but dont be mad i have weird things in my mind like for example i blurt shit out a lot i am a blurter but anyway regardless i cant kiss a fuckin
yuckmouth nope no maam no fuckin yuckmouths for me hi my name is ty hi i type and type hi no one cares hi i saw an accident hi the cars were both old hi
no one cares when poor ppl die do they i mean except of course for other poor ppl
goddd
do you know how fuckin long its been baby thats why i came too fast plz dont tell a soul ok
oh and
vince said he hitchhiked from the panama canal to somewhere else he said it was like
umm ok i forget shit motherfucker umm lets see
well you know i went running but you dont know i punched the cabinet door it hurt my hand i
punched the cabinet door it hurt my hand
im so fuckin wound up right now how bout you do somethin to make the racing go away momma sweet baby girl gosh i love your blue or whatever color eyes i
think our souls mighta been meant for each other
like it was decided when we were little babies in heaven bitch
holla
fuck your mother
hold that line holdin on whaddup baby howyadoin can i buy you ladies a drink no i mean can yall buy me one no not really i have money baby im so fuckin rich here
here is my card check it out but umm like the number is my old number tho here lemme write the new one on the back hey you know what here is my email instead nah wait come to think of it just google ty bsmith momma the internet knows me i been showing my cock showing my
bloods for years ever since the days of alt dot nerd ok
google me fuckin hit me up when you see that green light that glight oh my shit is tight oh your body is right fuckin hold me no not really that shit makes me cringe and also we cant kiss on acct of i dont know your flossing status but dont be mad i have weird things in my mind like for example i blurt shit out a lot i am a blurter but anyway regardless i cant kiss a fuckin
yuckmouth nope no maam no fuckin yuckmouths for me hi my name is ty hi i type and type hi no one cares hi i saw an accident hi the cars were both old hi
no one cares when poor ppl die do they i mean except of course for other poor ppl
goddd
do you know how fuckin long its been baby thats why i came too fast plz dont tell a soul ok
oh and
vince said he hitchhiked from the panama canal to somewhere else he said it was like
umm ok i forget shit motherfucker umm lets see
well you know i went running but you dont know i punched the cabinet door it hurt my hand i
punched the cabinet door it hurt my hand
im so fuckin wound up right now how bout you do somethin to make the racing go away momma sweet baby girl gosh i love your blue or whatever color eyes i
think our souls mighta been meant for each other
like it was decided when we were little babies in heaven bitch
holla
mr ty
mr hi
mr writer even tho u say nice try
mr query
mr beggin
mr jump on the money me typins could earn plz
mr why
mr fly
mr ty
mr hi
mr writer even tho u say nice try
mr query
mr beggin
mr jump on the money me typins could earn plz
mr why
mr fly
mr ty
1630 | yes |
little girl with a lemonade stand says fuck you, pay me
it's hard times, man
hard to get to the gym, hard to get home after work, hard to make a buck, hard to get laid, hard to capitalize words and put periods at the end of sentences, hard to have a good attitude, hard to be thankful for so many blessings
it should be so easy, easy like the li'l ovens that bake cakes with a li'l light bulb
no just radiates from the skin like ripples of heat
when it should be yes yes yes oh yes thank you yes
it's hard times, man
hard to get to the gym, hard to get home after work, hard to make a buck, hard to get laid, hard to capitalize words and put periods at the end of sentences, hard to have a good attitude, hard to be thankful for so many blessings
it should be so easy, easy like the li'l ovens that bake cakes with a li'l light bulb
no just radiates from the skin like ripples of heat
when it should be yes yes yes oh yes thank you yes
1435
if you fall i will catch you i'll be waitin time after time if you're lost you can look and you will find ty
time after time.
time after time.
0733 [get laid get fuckd]
the sky is black and i am going running
the sky is black and felix is cool as fuck radioradio
the sky is black and i ate a cold potato for breakfast
the sky is black and i have a caffeine headache
the sky is black and my girl is sick
the sky is black and they are jackhammering the street
the sky is black and i am going running
the sky is black and felix is cool as fuck radioradio
the sky is black and i ate a cold potato for breakfast
the sky is black and i have a caffeine headache
the sky is black and my girl is sick
the sky is black and they are jackhammering the street
the sky is black and i am going running
2253 \ storm /
Lightning over Manhattan
Thunder cracks in these hills
Sets off car alarms
Why do people still have car alarms?
Smell of rain and typing
It was a dark and boring night …
Thunder cracks in these hills
Sets off car alarms
Why do people still have car alarms?
Smell of rain and typing
It was a dark and boring night …
2202 \ the perfect murder /
If one more guy says, "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you," I am going to murder a motherfucker. Not quickly, either. I will start by putting a pen in his hand and tell him to fill a sheet of paper with words, and not random words, or the same word over and over again, but words that make something turn inside me, words that beg to be read again, but the second time through the sheet of paper the words sound different and move a different part of me, even though the words are the same. This, surely, will kill him.
2054
i think i could edit and re-re-re-re-re-edit that thing until five minutes before my casket was lowered into the ground yo
2035
somewhere someone is reading your words
somewhere someone is preparing to email you a form letter
and oh btw the form letter says fuck you
man
fuck you
and like
we are sorry about the form letter but fuck you nonetheless
we [plz undertand]
are in the bizness of selling
and umm we simply do not believe that
your dissected bloody soul
can be sold to anyone we know oh
come on man don't make that face
hey listen it ain't our fault
you
shoulda done better than those state schools you
shoulda figured out what ppl want to read b4 you started typing
man you shoulda maybe never tried to play this game in the 1st place
i mean the whole attempt to be heard was kinda cheeky i mean
man who the fuck do you think you are son
man fuck you
somewhere someone is preparing to email you a form letter
and oh btw the form letter says fuck you
man
fuck you
and like
we are sorry about the form letter but fuck you nonetheless
we [plz undertand]
are in the bizness of selling
and umm we simply do not believe that
your dissected bloody soul
can be sold to anyone we know oh
come on man don't make that face
hey listen it ain't our fault
you
shoulda done better than those state schools you
shoulda figured out what ppl want to read b4 you started typing
man you shoulda maybe never tried to play this game in the 1st place
i mean the whole attempt to be heard was kinda cheeky i mean
man who the fuck do you think you are son
man fuck you
1425
well you know my name is tymon and the things i write come true oh asdf take me take me over climb the ladder with you.
i miss simon ok.
fuck you if you have not heard of him. do not tell me that shit. maybe you were never a little kid. maybe TV is too far beneath your gigundous brain yeah
that's the ticket
your brain
it is fucking huge so goddamn big and impressive i know maybe you should interview other chumps just like yourself
you know
see a real spike in stats meanwhile umm
all the girls wanna suck your pussy bitch and all the boys wanna suck your cock dude
dudes
bitches
hoes
fans
tweeters
i mean
fuckin unreal.
i mean it.
tyb land of the free.
i miss simon ok.
fuck you if you have not heard of him. do not tell me that shit. maybe you were never a little kid. maybe TV is too far beneath your gigundous brain yeah
that's the ticket
your brain
it is fucking huge so goddamn big and impressive i know maybe you should interview other chumps just like yourself
you know
see a real spike in stats meanwhile umm
all the girls wanna suck your pussy bitch and all the boys wanna suck your cock dude
dudes
bitches
hoes
fans
tweeters
i mean
fuckin unreal.
i mean it.
tyb land of the free.
0954 \ PIMP /
Robert "Iceberg Slim" Beck's urban autobiography "Pimp: The Story of My Life" has sold over 5 million copies since its release and is the second best-selling book written by a black man, after Alex Haley's "Roots."
808 \ due to a prior incident /
Due to a prior incident at one-eighty-first, the last stop on this train will be Dyckman, where you can transfer for a free shuttle bus blah blah blah your morning is fucked, so you should ignore me and get off at two-oh-seventh and walk a few blocks to the A. The streets are filled with the stench of two growling garbage trucks and a street sweeper, and trash is everywhere, but on the corner of two-oh-seventh and tenth is a dozen people crowding the sidewalk, and in the middle of the crowd are beautiful boricuas dressed like they are going dancing. They are surrounded by beefy dudes and the women keep tugging at the fronts of their short short dresses, and when they do their tops come down a little more, like that is even possible, and they can barely contain what is trying to burst forward into a hot, shitty Monday morning, so get a good look — a real good look — when you pass because it fucking stinks out there and the shops have not sprayed off the sidewalks yet and there is litter and piss puddles everywhere and pinch your nose and switch trains at fifty-ninth and stand the rest of the way to work, and you should have been early but now you are late, and your pits are sweaty, but hey, think about those dresses and the tugging and the tops. Ladies and gentleman, due to a prior incident at one-eighty-first, Dyckman will be the last stop on this train.
1420 | above it all |
The goal is to become so desensitized to it that it doesn't matter any more, like the only possible response to it would be: "Oh, I know you think that is great, but been there, done that, burned that to the ground in my mind a [insert large number] times, snore." This way, it is guaranteed that life cannot be enjoyed.
0938 | MargieBarlow is following me on Twitter |
She's asking a little too much, I think:
488 Following | 0 Followers
"I need a guy who can fuck me after work MONDAY through FRIDAY. Please be disease free and happy !"
488 Following | 0 Followers
"I need a guy who can fuck me after work MONDAY through FRIDAY. Please be disease free and happy !"
2247 | holding shit down |
The day's heat washed from my skin, a glass of cold water because cold water taste better than everything, in range of the turning fan, the incense smoke wiggles and twists. Yankees versus Mariners on mute, fingers on the laptopcock.
1929 [protest this]
oh but the girls at the homeowner's assoc pool dear lawdddddddd oh but my sister's husband's sister is a cunt miss mansion yeah good job marrying the disaster clean-up guy and then leaving him you are truly the shit
akron ohio royalty
so provincial she don't even know it and now my sister's kids act like the skinny beaknoseNOtittiescunt's kids and at age ten talk about how a restaurant is verrrry exclusive
oh
this from the chicken fingers brigade but the BITCHES at the pool
otto
you shoulda seen the bikinis and the bosoms [fakeANDreal]
some girls had one of each can you believe that shit i mean who has one fake titty and one real titty anymore that shit is so yesterday right oh my gawd my nephew said can we go to the country club NOW
and everyone stared at him my sister she is the nicest person ever born and her children are fucksticks i would punch that boy if no one was looking true story
and in other news no agent loves me hopefully yet belongs in what i just typed but there is no love nonetheless alas.
i am going downstairs to watch some preseason nfl i have a funny story but right now i am all grrrrr so it is going to have to wait god bless the middle class souls who believe themselves rich
akron ohio royalty
so provincial she don't even know it and now my sister's kids act like the skinny beaknoseNOtittiescunt's kids and at age ten talk about how a restaurant is verrrry exclusive
oh
this from the chicken fingers brigade but the BITCHES at the pool
otto
you shoulda seen the bikinis and the bosoms [fakeANDreal]
some girls had one of each can you believe that shit i mean who has one fake titty and one real titty anymore that shit is so yesterday right oh my gawd my nephew said can we go to the country club NOW
and everyone stared at him my sister she is the nicest person ever born and her children are fucksticks i would punch that boy if no one was looking true story
and in other news no agent loves me hopefully yet belongs in what i just typed but there is no love nonetheless alas.
i am going downstairs to watch some preseason nfl i have a funny story but right now i am all grrrrr so it is going to have to wait god bless the middle class souls who believe themselves rich
1852 {ty won't write so here}
It was unbelievably hard to rub one out to Cindy Morgan. It was like
time-travel hard. I kept hearing the old man say stick it in and keep
it in stick it in and keep it in stick it in and
time-travel hard. I kept hearing the old man say stick it in and keep
it in stick it in and keep it in stick it in and
On my belly hairs, sweat dried in the breeze from the fan, neighbors
pretended they did not watch but I know they did because of the
humiliation and self-loathing
1832
A napkin twisted around my beer like a bow tie
Pork sandwich in Spanish
Everyone behind the counter has a hair net and a fat ass
Steam rises from stewing meat and rice
These beans are so ohmygod
Sent from my iLovedabx
1149 | step four |
Woke up and closed my eyes. Could still see her legs in my head. Tan, just a bit. Long and curved in the correct places. Could see faint veins spidering in her thigh, barely there. Not only was I seeing further up her skirt than I should but further into her skin than I should. I imagined her without skin. Thought of the way my sperm would mingle with her blood, seep through her thin walls and course through those legs. Had not masturbated with my eyes closed since whothefuckknows. I do not count the showers when I was married. That was necessity. This was willful, in the bed, in the morning, porn at hand but ignored. Those legs. That skirt. Those veins.
1940
Thanks for sending along the opening pages of your manuscript. Truth be told, though, I'm afraid these pages just didn't draw me in as much as I had hoped. I'm pressed for time these days and, what with my reservations about the project, I suspect I wouldn't be the best fit.
1728 {whorrors}
These women are just pouring out of American Appearal and all I can
think is: You fucking cunt whorrors, how can you support that
pornography. No question mark. No wonder every guy treats you like a
jizz rag.
think is: You fucking cunt whorrors, how can you support that
pornography. No question mark. No wonder every guy treats you like a
jizz rag.
1149
i am not going to query today no i am not going to query i would not read query's on friday if i was an agent i mean if i had a hammer hey do ya remember on the sopranos when chrissy sang if i had a hammer and you were a douchebag? man i can't wait for that movie to come out i read somewhere that tony is still alive and plus sil is still alive hotdamn i think that shit is tight don't you and oh so is paulie and patsy i believe too bad johnny sac had to go tho.
dagos right?
greasy-headed wops.
man we used to fight with them fight with them fight back in the day to tell you the truth idk why most likely former immigrationrelatedissues filtering down thru the generations or some shit who knows who cares really hi
i am drinking a root beer it is bawhs i have been reading a girl named betsy online lately her shit is bawhs you don't know her yet but you will soon i am going swimming this weekend let's hear it for college freshman lifeguards man wouldn't it be dopetastic if one of them hoes still had her braces on help me jesus.
hi
there is something wrong with me i
want you to love me but i hate you at the same time maybe i hate myself for wanting love and then project that shit on you but like
maybe you just suck and deserve to be hated ever think of that?
like when you are all alone and talking to yourself and you are all man is this really what life is i mean is that really MY saggy tired old face in the mirror omg when i was a kid i never thought i would be this unhappy and feeling so very alienated and unsuccessful as an adult.
listen. you don't gotta answer.
i know you know it.
en hecho -
i know all about you.
dagos right?
greasy-headed wops.
man we used to fight with them fight with them fight back in the day to tell you the truth idk why most likely former immigrationrelatedissues filtering down thru the generations or some shit who knows who cares really hi
i am drinking a root beer it is bawhs i have been reading a girl named betsy online lately her shit is bawhs you don't know her yet but you will soon i am going swimming this weekend let's hear it for college freshman lifeguards man wouldn't it be dopetastic if one of them hoes still had her braces on help me jesus.
hi
there is something wrong with me i
want you to love me but i hate you at the same time maybe i hate myself for wanting love and then project that shit on you but like
maybe you just suck and deserve to be hated ever think of that?
like when you are all alone and talking to yourself and you are all man is this really what life is i mean is that really MY saggy tired old face in the mirror omg when i was a kid i never thought i would be this unhappy and feeling so very alienated and unsuccessful as an adult.
listen. you don't gotta answer.
i know you know it.
en hecho -
i know all about you.
1908 {new writing routine}
Eat bachelor food
Pour a drink
Masturbate
Write something for JJFFJJ
Remasturbate
Pour a drink
Read other posts on JJFFJJ
Laugh
Pour a drink
Cry
Read notes
Revise old shit
Pour a drink
Stare at blank page
Pour a drink
Rerevise old shit
Read some blogs
Download gangbanghorseorgydoggiesnuffclevelandsteamer porn
Fuck around with photos in my phone
Watch Yankees
Type a sentence
Delete the sentence
Rub one more out
Climb into bed
Think about sentences with the lights off
Think about writing them down but do not
Tell myself that I will remember them in the morning
(Even though I know that is not true)
Fall asleep and dream about trying to fall asleep
Pour a drink
Masturbate
Write something for JJFFJJ
Remasturbate
Pour a drink
Read other posts on JJFFJJ
Laugh
Pour a drink
Cry
Read notes
Revise old shit
Pour a drink
Stare at blank page
Pour a drink
Rerevise old shit
Read some blogs
Download gangbanghorseorgydoggiesnuffclevelandsteamer porn
Fuck around with photos in my phone
Watch Yankees
Type a sentence
Delete the sentence
Rub one more out
Climb into bed
Think about sentences with the lights off
Think about writing them down but do not
Tell myself that I will remember them in the morning
(Even though I know that is not true)
Fall asleep and dream about trying to fall asleep
1631 [being mesmith]
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to consider your work, but I'm sorry to say that I'm going to pass on reading more.
I wish you the best of luck in your publishing endeavors.
I wish you the best of luck in your publishing endeavors.
0847
IN HONOR OF ELEPHANT WEEK AND OTHER INTERNET SPAYSHELLTEEZ THE MIGHTY MIGHTY N>I>N>E>R
WILL NEXT WEEK FEATURE GUEST POSTS FROM FEMALE BLOGGERS SCATTERED HERE AND THERE AROUND THE INTERNET.
THIS WILL BE DONE FOR TWO REASONS:
1. IM A DICK
2. CERTAIN PPL THINK IT IS OK TO LEAVE ME HANGING FOR WEEKS AT A TIME WHILE THEY SORT OUT PERSONAL PROBLEMS AND VACATION THEIR LIVES AWAY.
WILL NEXT WEEK FEATURE GUEST POSTS FROM FEMALE BLOGGERS SCATTERED HERE AND THERE AROUND THE INTERNET.
THIS WILL BE DONE FOR TWO REASONS:
1. IM A DICK
2. CERTAIN PPL THINK IT IS OK TO LEAVE ME HANGING FOR WEEKS AT A TIME WHILE THEY SORT OUT PERSONAL PROBLEMS AND VACATION THEIR LIVES AWAY.
2136 [mlb = wwf]
maybe if we extend the trade deadline to halloween we can get every good player from every shitty team to help us win the post season boys get on it
2047 [my penis is your chatroom]
i was watching the today show this morning and some asshole last name TODD [no relation] had this to say:
cunthostbitch, i have a two word answer for you:
the secret service.
and i was like damn i went nearly four decades thinking three words equaled three words.
stupid pedestrian class rabble/rouser me.
but wtf do i know really i mean i went to alcohol poisoning state uni not one of them fancy schools like mr bigtime white house correspondent TODD [no relation] most surely attended.
in other fascinating news i tried to watch the wrestler tonite [1080p] but direct tv would not let it happen they said to check my dish for snow or ice.
which
you know
it being august and all i thought the possibility of snow and ice somewhat unlikely but then i remembered fat al gore saying global warming is real so i went outside and checked and i am glad i did becuz i discovered some INCREDIBLE shit:
there are wasps in my yard that can survive ice storms.
fuckin incredible right?
man i AM telling you ohio is a crazy whacked out fuckin place for reals.
kisses to the kissable. dap to all the rest.
cunthostbitch, i have a two word answer for you:
the secret service.
and i was like damn i went nearly four decades thinking three words equaled three words.
stupid pedestrian class rabble/rouser me.
but wtf do i know really i mean i went to alcohol poisoning state uni not one of them fancy schools like mr bigtime white house correspondent TODD [no relation] most surely attended.
in other fascinating news i tried to watch the wrestler tonite [1080p] but direct tv would not let it happen they said to check my dish for snow or ice.
which
you know
it being august and all i thought the possibility of snow and ice somewhat unlikely but then i remembered fat al gore saying global warming is real so i went outside and checked and i am glad i did becuz i discovered some INCREDIBLE shit:
there are wasps in my yard that can survive ice storms.
fuckin incredible right?
man i AM telling you ohio is a crazy whacked out fuckin place for reals.
kisses to the kissable. dap to all the rest.
1946 [yankees encore]
Omelettes for dinner are good. Every night. Cholesterol can suck my dick. Two eggs, chopped olives, jalapenos, orange cheese, salt, pepper, an Indian pale ale and a shot of good tequila on the side. The minibar in the living room helped reduce the echo, yo. Are you tired of hearing about the echo? The echo makes me sad, fuck you. Jeter just scored, fuck you again. I miss her. I am lonely. Is that pathetic? Fuck you. Someone told me to get used to it because we are always alone anyway no matter what. That even as we tell ourselves we are getting to know someone on a deep level we go out of our way, really, to avoid that so we can keep alive the illusion that we have created around them, our perception of them, which is a lie to protect ourselves, to make us think we are not alone. Fucking hell. Some asshole just hit a homerun off Burnett. Sonuvabitch. I was going to say something else but I forgot what it was. Too bad for you because it would have changed your life, your lonely, sad, empty life.
1440
hi i read what you wrote hi i gotta tell you it sucks hi i was hoping for better hi i thought you were improving hi i will say i like it if you blow me hi the coffee next to me smells so nice hi i was listening to bigfoot screams on youtube hi i was listening to bigfoot screams on youtube hi
i was listening to bigfoot screams on youtube hi i googled you ms prospective agent hi you are way hot hi dontcha wanna save me hi i have been hurt so bad hi
my soul is my heart both true and for you hi when does the check arrive hi i can change whatever you like hi but i need money first hi i
am about to start working on my second book hi i will write more words this time hi it is going to be the best thing i ever wrote hi
i think the niner is stale hi
i proposed a beotch infusion hi they voted no hi we can call it a coup then hi i never heard anyone say coup when i was a kid hi only read it hi therefore i thought it was pronounced coop hi
i wanna fuck girls in 1969 hi i am the summer of love hi
otto is drinking and 33 is batting her eyelashes at danny hi i saw the marathon chick in the street today hi i told her i hate her hi she laughed
hi
come sit on my dick ok
i was listening to bigfoot screams on youtube hi i googled you ms prospective agent hi you are way hot hi dontcha wanna save me hi i have been hurt so bad hi
my soul is my heart both true and for you hi when does the check arrive hi i can change whatever you like hi but i need money first hi i
am about to start working on my second book hi i will write more words this time hi it is going to be the best thing i ever wrote hi
i think the niner is stale hi
i proposed a beotch infusion hi they voted no hi we can call it a coup then hi i never heard anyone say coup when i was a kid hi only read it hi therefore i thought it was pronounced coop hi
i wanna fuck girls in 1969 hi i am the summer of love hi
otto is drinking and 33 is batting her eyelashes at danny hi i saw the marathon chick in the street today hi i told her i hate her hi she laughed
hi
come sit on my dick ok
2353 [oh lucky day/night]
"Due to a schedule correction, the next stop on this train will be
Dykeman."
Dykeman."
Sweet.
"Ladies and gentleman, the next stop on this train will be 231st
Street."
Oh, fuck yes. FUCK FUCK FUCK YES.
Sent from my iKnowtyknows
1100
this grown man:
http://www.youtube.com/user/MrSquirky
makes star wars videos on youtube and then talks shit like a tough guy to the little kids who comment.
ever had any pussy sir?
we think not.
http://www.youtube.com/user/MrSquirky
makes star wars videos on youtube and then talks shit like a tough guy to the little kids who comment.
ever had any pussy sir?
we think not.
1010
they all accept
she said.
i was
reaching
trying to breathe
i guess.
umm maybe it keeps people
from going insane
i replied.
you know - not really realize
what's up like
all the way.
she wasn't listening.
she never paid attention to anyone.
her blue eyes found the cover of a magazine
and she froze.
i stared at her for what felt like hours.
i couldn't remember why she was mad.
finally - i got up from the couch
turned a million locks
walked out the door
down the stairs
et cetera.
go on feeling sorry for yourself
i said to the moonlight.
weep
cry out loud
hold your shaking limbs
in two pale hands.
whatever.
i was on avenue a and it was late
and i started to walk toward 14th Steet
with my hands in my pockets.
every fifteen feet
someone asked me for money.
she said.
i was
reaching
trying to breathe
i guess.
umm maybe it keeps people
from going insane
i replied.
you know - not really realize
what's up like
all the way.
she wasn't listening.
she never paid attention to anyone.
her blue eyes found the cover of a magazine
and she froze.
i stared at her for what felt like hours.
i couldn't remember why she was mad.
finally - i got up from the couch
turned a million locks
walked out the door
down the stairs
et cetera.
go on feeling sorry for yourself
i said to the moonlight.
weep
cry out loud
hold your shaking limbs
in two pale hands.
whatever.
i was on avenue a and it was late
and i started to walk toward 14th Steet
with my hands in my pockets.
every fifteen feet
someone asked me for money.
0900
meet me in the sex chat honey lets play 2003 oh yeah i can be bighardcock4U and you can be domslavehottie got it we can type nasty shit i can stroke it you can stroke it we can lie you can say you aint fat i will go yeah my shit is ninefeetlongbitch
ooh
how ya like it when i disrespect you check it disregard that last question too many characters to type while rubbing precome all over the tip oh yeah such a release make me feel lonelier the
loneliest i
can't stap drinking coffe i
dont know how to make these fingerstopmoving i
feel so very all alone right now
maybe you can love me thru these asdfs
ooh
how ya like it when i disrespect you check it disregard that last question too many characters to type while rubbing precome all over the tip oh yeah such a release make me feel lonelier the
loneliest i
can't stap drinking coffe i
dont know how to make these fingerstopmoving i
feel so very all alone right now
maybe you can love me thru these asdfs
1945
they are in bed with books in their hands. historical fiction and romance. kate nash is singing dickhead thru an iPod dock. he goes
dude i was so tired and now i feel wired as fuck
she
goes fuck gets wired?
he frowns.
what if no one takes it what will i do in life if this does not work out?
she goes well dude you do have an MBA.
he goes man come on i tried to give the guy at the veggie stand two fives for eighteen dollars worth of stuff yesterday. i don't see the business thing working out. plus like idk. a suit every day?
she sighs.
he goes i'm serious. what if i get nothing out of this? i've been doing it my entire life for free.
the music changes to capleton.
she goes your writing got you me.
he says true.
she stretches. long and thin. freckles. red curls all over the place. like margaret d'anjou.
[well. i'm not sure about margaret d'anjou having red hair. i think maybe shakespeare said she had red eyes or some shit but i'm not totally completely MLA sure. i mean. it's been awhile. and plus i studied the victorians. fucking sue me. this is a blog ok. nothing more. and plus it's not like you know either so stop frontin.]
he forces himself to smile.
she says dude how many agents have your manuscript right now?
four.
and how many rejections have you had?
about the same number.
and how many queries did you send out?
thirty-six.
she goes you're prolly doing better than a lot of ppl who are querying.
sure he says. hey lemme practice on you. welcome to burger king. may i take your order plz?
simian mobile disco changes to the cure.
he turns out the light on his side of the bed.
[all the sounds of charlotte sometimes.]
dude i was so tired and now i feel wired as fuck
she
goes fuck gets wired?
he frowns.
what if no one takes it what will i do in life if this does not work out?
she goes well dude you do have an MBA.
he goes man come on i tried to give the guy at the veggie stand two fives for eighteen dollars worth of stuff yesterday. i don't see the business thing working out. plus like idk. a suit every day?
she sighs.
he goes i'm serious. what if i get nothing out of this? i've been doing it my entire life for free.
the music changes to capleton.
she goes your writing got you me.
he says true.
she stretches. long and thin. freckles. red curls all over the place. like margaret d'anjou.
[well. i'm not sure about margaret d'anjou having red hair. i think maybe shakespeare said she had red eyes or some shit but i'm not totally completely MLA sure. i mean. it's been awhile. and plus i studied the victorians. fucking sue me. this is a blog ok. nothing more. and plus it's not like you know either so stop frontin.]
he forces himself to smile.
she says dude how many agents have your manuscript right now?
four.
and how many rejections have you had?
about the same number.
and how many queries did you send out?
thirty-six.
she goes you're prolly doing better than a lot of ppl who are querying.
sure he says. hey lemme practice on you. welcome to burger king. may i take your order plz?
simian mobile disco changes to the cure.
he turns out the light on his side of the bed.
[all the sounds of charlotte sometimes.]
1245 [mommy masturbates]
I used to bust my mom with her hand in her crotch under a blanket all the time. I would walk into her bedroom or the living room and see the under-blanket action and her eyes would be closed and when I startled her she'd act like I woke her up. She thought she was slick and for years I didn't know what she was doing but once I figured it out it was like the rewind in "Sixth Sense."
This is awesome: http://girlswithinsurance.com/index.php/prose/micro/58-xtx-0809-solo
This is awesome: http://girlswithinsurance.com/index.php/prose/micro/58-xtx-0809-solo
0927 [TY, YOU DIDN'T TELL US ABOUT THIS, WTF]
Cop Claims He Was Harassed Over Hot Wife
You would think having a wife pose for Playboy would make you popular around work -- but one cop in Ohio says it made him the target of a bogus investigation.
A police officer in Ohio claims the Gahanna Police Department made him the subject of "a detailed and invasive non-criminal investigation" of him and his entire family that began shortly after his wife posed for Playboy.
According to a lawsuit filed last week, the officer claims he was also denied the right to take leave to drill with Army National Guard and also claims his superiors at the police department badmouthed him to Army National Guard officials.
He is suing for damages in excess of $25,000.
(BTW -- That's his hot wife on the right)
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