I have a question about porn. Specifically commercial airline porn. How do they make it? I mean. I'm always one to book a cheap flight. I've taken the redeye a drabillion times. I've never seen a well bosomed stewardess go down on a guy ONCE. Nary a birthday present. Get it? I called a blowjob a birthday present. Know why?

I think you do. Shameful btw. Also when you read the Nines we can see into your brain. Can't delete that history. Note to self come back to this sentence at a later draft and write something funny about reader being unable to delete cookies. Maybe work in toss cookies. That will split sides. Trust me.

Hi. I don't really have anything to talk about. But I wanted to be with you. You're like fried plantains, baby. Badass as fuck. Like observing an unexpected fwd flip and then only being asked for a quarter by the street gymnast. Being asked for only a quarter makes a person give more I think. I only give to the ppl at the red lights tho. The folks from validated charities. Otherwise how can I be sure the person I'm giving money to is not getting high? I mean. Fuck it. I'd rather get high myself if that's where it's going right. Anyway but yeah I keep a baggie of change in my glove box so I don't look like a bad guy when I'm stopped at a red light and the Special Olympics etc etc folks are staring at me like hungry, judging wolves. That last sentence was to make Rotto laugh btw. I hope it did. Yeah but so anyway I get like the $1.75 mini-ruler fifteen times a year.

Also. If you were more on the European-looking side of Mexican (all due respect) and you made me patacon and baby maybe added in the carnitas hoowhee I think I might tell you I love you and actually mean it irregardless of the childhood abandonment baggage stuff lol smiley face.
Next thing:
I wonder if the other writers on the Nine ever feel like they are typing nothing to no one. Not that you are no one. It's just I wonder if you are really there. And like did your bra make lines on your side or your ribs or whatever. And do you have long arms.

I. Thought. We. Were. In. The. Trust. Tree

3 for the 369 Crew:

~otto~ said...

You are on a roll, sir.


gamefaced said...

i went camping. in west virginia. my tent was a fresh pine wood cabin with a flatscreen/ac/minifridge and i only saw one dude missing front teeth and he actually provided decent customer service. life is funny like that.

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