Dear gym guy who almost got killed for taking up that large locker with just his umbrella that only an asshole would use,
I must apologize for losing my temper when you got in my face about giving your umbrella to a gym employee because I thought someone left it behind by accident.
It is important that I take responsibility for my actions, and remind myself that most people like you, who act as if nobody else in the world matters except themselves, do not realize how selfish they are.
Losing my temper served no good purpose other than to watch you act like a 12-year-old tattletale when you got the gym manager involved. When I said, "If you don't fucking like it, do something about it," I thought I was talking to a man, regardless of how big your man-tits are.
I was wrong, Barney. (I do not know your name, but you look like a Barney, which is funny because that's the manager's name, but without an E.) Barny was very understanding about the situation once you ran off and I explained how unaware you are of what a utter asshole you have become since you got out of law/business/prick school at Columbia/Harvard/Yale and started working for that firm/hedge fund/corrupt government agency.
When I lost my temper as your hot breath fumed in my face and spittle flew from your cock-sucking lips, all hope of a peaceful resolution was lost — and worse, so was the opportunity to explain, in a way you would listen to and understand, what a complete fucking piece of shit you have become.
Again, I am sorry.
Sincerely,
Gym guy who almost killed self-important large asshole that would use his dear locker up with only an umbrella that just got took
