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I am here to say hello to you. So hello. [EXTENDS ARM.]

Firm grip. No dead fish handshakes for old FRANKENPENISBLESS.

Nope.

Want to know something?

My knee hurts.

Want to know what else?

I am bored.

Let's run away together soon as we graduate ok? I am thinking either LA or NYC.

Becuz baby. I am so over this old town and its bullshit. Everyone is fat and driving a mini-van.

I need to go someplace where someone will date rape drug me and give me an std. Maybe I will develop a powder-drug problem. Or like idk maybe all my shit can get stolen becuz I blink at the wrong time.

Or like what if we get there and do not want to fuck anymore? You will go off with some dude who owns like a tv or some other extravagance and I will fall comfortably back into my long-standing routine of letting a cute girl with a decent bank acct. save me.

Also I might be an artist or an actor or a musician or something.

Oh wait. Check it. I know. I will write.

I will write in a white undershirt and a Frank Sinatra hat. Also khaki Dockers that I buy at Kohl's in central Ohio and take to the big city with me. My khaki Dockers will not have pleats becuz pleats are for fat women.

Last, I will also wear the most expensive running shoes I can find. That way I can show I have money but also suffer from the white guilt.

LUVSTRY