How ya doin'? Go fuck yourself

Did I tell you about the time I played Poo-Dollar? No? What do you mean, What's Poo-Dollar? Jeezuz. It's only the greatest game ever. You really must play. It will make you feel 12 again, and you're old as fuck so you really need to feel 12 again. Try it. Don't be a pussy/dickhole.

Wipe some shit on a dollar bill, drop it on the sidewalk and watch people pick it up and then lose their minds. Their heads will tell them to drop it but their greedy fingers won't let them. When I played, the feces-finances dilemma seemed to disproportionately affect Asian women who shrieked and shook the dollar like it was stuck to their hands with glue. It wasn’t, tho, their greedy-ass fingers just wouldn’t drop it even though their heads were begging them to. Being a victim of Poo-Dollar is like confronting your fucked up relationship. You’ve put up with way too much shit and you want to let go but can’t.

My girlfriend just split open a live lobster with a huge knife. She's making paella. The thing wouldn’t die. It was kinda of awesome. It's tail flexed over and over and over like a roided up oiled down Schwarzenegger. I’m a pussy. I felt bad for it. When she pulled it out of the paper bag it threw it’s huge claws in the air and flashed some gang signs. Then she stabbed it to death. I’m going to enjoy with a barrel of melted butter. If you eat the tamale you are fucking gross.