932am

Attn. Ms. Shutmedown:

Chance's life takes an unexpected turn when he goes to rent a car with a friend.

The title of my novel is Sing. The dude in the book goes here and there and everywhere and his life is pretty depressing even though he has a trust fund and an expensive whip. In short, dude is lonely. Something horrible happened when he was a kid. As a result, homeboy does a lot of drugs. And he drinks. He also has huge issues with germs. Fortunately, he gets a lot of ass from cute girls, which, as you know, is super important. At the end of the 22,000 words, shit improves a little bit for him, I suppose, but not really. Wanna know why? Becuz life is a complete motherfucker.

I'm contacting you for several reasons:

1. I'm broke to the point where I can't pay for postage and you take e-submissions
2. I can't do this on my own
3. Half a dozen ppl before you have already rejected me
4. You're the best
5. Like really really totally awesome

I've been in a few lit mags but stopped submitting becuz lit mag owners are pathetic fat fucks who either live off or with their mothers and they are no longer allowed to tell me no just becuz I don't ride their nuts or seem like someone they might be able to fuck if they put me on their stupid websites. Here are the links: [insert links]

Plz let me know if you want me to send my shit along. Otherwise I'll click the link below yours on the agent website of the day and try to talk him or her into loving me.

Be Easy.
Ty B.

P.S. I also have some pictures of my cock that I typically show certain girls on the Internet [but not others i.e. the ones I find unattractive] so if you are not a lesbian and interested in seeing some new man meat just lemme know ok?