1014 [being bsmith]

You didnt eat in the morning and your gf made you late to teh airport [ocd cleaning] to pick up her brother and the traffic on the highway almost made you late to dinner at 2pm and there was a cooler on the back porch when you walked up no
two coolers and you grabbed an ULTRA for yourself and your gfs handsome brother and the icy cold beer went right to your head i mean what did you expect you
never drink anymore and the buzz descended right away and they were all waiting for you inside so you drew a smile across your face and stepped thru the door and hugged and kissed and punched your asshole little nephew hard on his collarbone and went back outside and grabbed your second beer BOOMTOTHEFACE and then everyone sat everywhere you had a baby on your lap always a baby on your lap yeah finally a
THANKSGIVING at the grownups table everything everywhere SMELLS of CHILDHOOD you
with your brussels sprouts and soy beans and baked sweet potato [not enough] all
cold and
everyone going hardy har har you still on that crazy diet
you
kept nodding your head and balancing the baby and trying to eat round little beans with a fork and fat ppl kept saying things like I
WOULD RATHER DIE THAN EAT SOYBEANS and
in your head you were all

dudenoworriesyoulooklikeyouaregonna

and time somehow passed albeit motherfucking slowly and you kept drinking until it was nite and TEXAS beat the pathetic aggies and your belly was full of dirty martinis and you wanted to get laid in a guest room at your parents house but your dick would not get hard so you passed out and woke up at 345 am soaked in sweat they

mustve had the heat on 80
man

and your parents were up too so you took a shower puked in the shower and sat around drinking coffee and reading the 99 newspapers delivered to the end of their driveway each morning and you were careful not to spill anything or make a mess because easily-led lowlifes make messes and successful winners do not and you wanted to leave as soon as you could but your gf said in front of everyone dont rush me this is my only day to relax and it made you feel like an asshole and you hated her for embarrassing you and your head and stomach hurt and you thought to yourself man

i fuckin hate holidays