1333 : the gordon manifesto :

If my name was Gordon, the number of syllables in my first name would double.

If your name was Gordon, you tell me what happens other than you sucking my balls more often.

If everyone's name was Steve, that would suck. Steve is a shitty name. Sorry.

If my name was Gordon and if I also had a nickname that nickname might be Don for short. Or Bromephious Mumblefudge. Either way. But not Gordo. I would fucking kill you if you called me that.

Or maybe I am trying to use reverse psychiatry to get you to call me Gordo.

If I killed you, there would be a small part of me that would be excited to be able to brag in bars, "Yeah, I've killed someone." But when I said it, I would totally look sad, pretending I regretted it, and say, "My name is Gordon."

You may also call me G-Don if you are filled with doucherreah. And you are.

There are many famous Gordons. I would not be one of them. The fisherman would be one of them.

Gordon is also a last name. Gordon Gordon would be hawt. G squared.

The next time I splatter my DNA all over some whore's face I will scream, "Gordon!" And from then on I would refer to sperm and ejaculation as Gordon and Gordoning.

I Gordoned in your mom's face.

Your dad licked my Gordons of your mother's face.

Because he is gay.

His name is not Gordon.

Go(rdon) fuck your mother bless.