suburbo

what if like hypothetically you ate an avocado and then a little while later went to an Italian joint and had red wine and iced tea and white pizza and salad with crumbled blue cheese and house dressing and then a plate of lobster ravioli with a side of spaghetti marinara and then like an hour later you had a giant slice of peanut butter pie

oh and jelly beans and your second chai dbl latte of the day

and then like you totally had gas and when you tried to poop nothing would come out and it really sucked so you sat down at your computer to take your mind off your tummy ache but then you heard screaming outside and and ran downstairs and a big fat dyke lady's dog was attacking your gfs little dog and the little dog was all bloody and your gf was acting like a semi-hysterical girl and the big mean dyke lady was walking up the street toward her big fat dyke friend and smiling at her or him or whatever they call each other and your gf was like don't freak out on them and your stomach really hurt and it was starting to get dark

how would that make you feel?

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