1419 | fuck your mother, motherfucker |

I just had a Biggie fries from Wendy's and I am sitting here torturing myself like I just ate crack. I mean like I just smoked crack. Shot it up. Sucked dick for a hit. Whatever. I feel like a fucking crackhead ok. Like I have meth mouth. Like Ms. Ling is interviewing me for Explorer in my backwoods shack while my toddler girls run around with their shirts off. Like I've been voted off the Biggest Loser for being too goddamn fat.

I mean.

Fuck you BMI. I haven't been that skinny since high school. Women are as skinny as you want me to be. Skinny women. Not even women with nice titties. Yeah. I'm into titties. What of it? Prolly that is also the wrong thing to say right? Most likely I should say I'm into stupid bitches and their stupid dot ning posts.

Or talentless hacks with book deals.

Wait. Wrong direction. That one has been done to death.

I was angst-ridden a second ago.

Why?

Where the fuck were we?

Oh yeah.

The shit fucker BMI chart that I can never hope to measure up against. And now dude is saying a person should aim for a 22 on that bitch. A 22. I haven't been a 22 since 9th fuckin grade.

What about muscle mass what about giant cock weight what about I don't need a Hoverround what about lots of other ppl do what about eating something that does not taste like vegetables soy or cocksuckin wheat every once in awhile is that such a goddamn crime why won't my brain leave me alone on this one simple trip thru the drivethru [mexicans] why why why do I give a fuck why why why arghhhhhhhhh?