1545

I am lazing. I am drug-brained. I am hot right now. I want to sleep. I want to nap on myself and drool onto things. I want to shower again. I want my 369 boys to drink beers with me hollah. I want to make out with a man that has a beard. I have never done that. I have only kissed a man with a mustache. I forgot what it felt like. I would like to read a novel about a man with a beard who never washes his beard after going down on a woman that he really loves. At first it’s just for a matter of hours, but then he leaves it alone longer and longer to see how long he can keep the scent of her juices on his facial hair. I want him to describe how it affects his eating meals and how he drives his car or speaks with coworkers. At some point in the novel he will be so in love with the woman. “I will marry this woman,” he will say. And the night before he will propose he goes down on her with a mighty fervor. She is so liquid down there, his beard gets soaked to the point of dripping. In the morning she gets killed on her way back from getting him a ‘surprise latte’ from Starbucks. He mourns for almost a year, never washing her out of his beard. After that point, I think it would be good if he meets a woman and they begin a friendship that eventually evolves into love and there will be a pivotal point in the story where he will tell her about the beard thing (which will explain a lot of questions she had about the very odd smell whenever they would kiss) and then he would lead her to a bubble bath where they will disrobe, get in together and he will make her watch him wash and then shave his beard, symbolizing ‘moving on’. And then it will be over. This actually might work better as a movie. Oh, crap I forgot to stir the shit I have going in the crock pot. I’d better go.