2008

excerpts from a much larger asdf wherein i sound like a pathetic douchebag girl but i deleted most of it because it sounds like i am sad and maybe i am.




....What about? I can’t put a finger on it. I don’t want to. Probably. I mean, I’ve been alone all day. 80% of today. I mean, I just had microwaved French toast for dinner and I ate it while watching Hoarders. Sitting in the dark, on the couch with no pants on. I had just watched Intervention prior to that. Maybe these shows of people at their pathetic extremes are contributing to my concern. I dunno.....



....I took a shower early afternoon, put on bikini bottoms and spent a couple hours topless sunbathing, reading, watching porn and masturbating. Rinse. Repeat. The type of porn I was watching was really disgusting. I feel like today was a disgusting pathetic day. I feel disgusting and pathetic. I feel like a big alone thing living a lie.......



.............This is dumb. I don’t even know what I’m saying. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. This entire post stemmed from being alone in a dark house, with bikini bottoms on and snoring dogs eating microwaved French toast watching Hoarders and how the reality of that statement made me feel alone and sad and pathetic and useless. Blah blah blah poor me. Yeah. I know. .....