Girl what if you had a car like something really old
and British like an Austin-Healey ok and you drove to my house to pick me up
and I saw you enter the drive from an upstairs window somewhat obscured by ivy
and I put on my cravat and chapeau and ran to meet you and I was caroling a gay song
of friendship and when I reached the door my mammy servant opened it wide for me and said have a nice day Missuh Graves suh and I smiled benevolently and had no problem with the exploitive wages I was paying her and also my dog Big Blue would be there and he would wag his shit smeared tail at me and I would go Mammy Servant why does this dog have shit on its tail but I would do it in a gay way so as not to alarm you but secretly I would be planning the firing of my servant and the eventual hire of a hotter and most likely Central American immigrant servant that I would pay lots of money to let me choke fuck her when I am all drugged and shit but anyway

say you are out there in the drive wearing tweeds and a jaunty windsor and I come outside and we ride away into the land of forever and when we get there we find out that everything is top-of-the-line and free and it is never a humid cocksucking oven in your house because the air conditioning never breaks and no fakeass company has to take two weeks to get a compressor in from China or wherethefuckever.

That would be totally sweet right.


Always remember that here in the good old land of the free every little child has the chance to grow up and be president.

Not really. But it makes my pussy tingle to write stuff like that bless.

Final message: Eat my motherfucking mung yaheard.