1620 : convrrrs8 :

TEXT: You can see the dress tomorrow and then you can take it off for me.

TEXT: Sorry I did not respond right away but the thought of that caused me to pass out.

TEXT: Passing out is my job, sillly ;-) But thank you.

TEXT: Hahaha. So I when I woke up from passing out I was in the condom aisle at the drug store and I went to pay and the woman who rang them up started singing: "Trojan Man!" I laughed my ass off. She said, "Sorry I just had to get that out. Plus you looked sad and I needed to fix that."

TEXT: That's fabulous. Better put it in a story. But this looking sad business must be fixed asap. You should eat some ice cream to feel better.

TEXT: You'd be sad too if you just had your eyelid amputated! Although, you are right. Ice cream can fix even that. Oh wait. I can't eat it. It's just not the same out of the carton anymore. I'll just buy some more condoms and make her sing again.

TEXT: Lol. Soo what really did happen with your eyelid?

TEXT: He said it could be a couple diferent itis-es, I don't remember which ones, but he thinks I just have a problem with the ducts on my eyelid getting clogged and it is causing styes. So he gave me a prescription for a tiny bottle of eye drops that I just spent $75 on. Yeah. The good news is that I had also been getting a little blurry vision in my right eye but he gave me an eye test and said my right eye is 20/20 and the problem is that my left eye has what he called "supernatural" 20/15 vision, even with the swollen eyelid. So yeah, I'm kind of a big deal. In my left eye, at least :-P ... That was the longest text in the history of texts.

TEXT: Hahahaha. It's cool. I was laughing or smiling the entire way through. You are a good story teller. I think we should throw your left eye a party. A combination get well soon/congrats on being awesome celebration.

TEXT: Par-taaaaay for the left eye! You are smart. Let's do that.