I like lots of people I've never met. I like them very hard. I like them too much, probably.

Sometimes I think I should just yell at him in all caps, confessing everything: "I WRITE FUCKED UP OVERSHARING THINGS ON THE INTERNET AND SOMETIMES GET DICK PICS AND DIRTY TALK BUT IT IS ALL JUST PRETEND AND PLAY TIME. YOU AND I KNOW I AM 'KEEPING IT REAL YO'" and then I can feel the weight of thirty three thousand pounds release from my carcass that I walk around in.

But then I'm all, nawww....