Hi. It's me: Your boy.
A lot of different stuff happened today.

Like a politician came to my door with his smiles and his Jesus child and shiny wife and when I asked him if he was Stalin or Trotsky, dude just looked at me like a stupid dick and I go, you know, the good pig. The one Napoleon runs off Animal Farm.

Dial tone.

And also I went to the state fair.

And I just want to tell you that there were MANY morbidly obese ppl there. Maybe even hundreds. Electric cart rentals were $50. I bet someone made a killing.

Another thing I want to tell you is that the fair was selling steak sandwiches across from the beef cattle pavilion.

And it broke my heart and made me feel like a monster.

True story. I know it should not bother me but it does and that's that and you can suck my balls if you don't like it yuhhherrrdddmeeee.


I want to write you something but nothing will come out.
And it makes me mad.
Maybe not mad but still.
I want to be near you right now.

Up close.

In your head
Or your heart
Or your laugh
I want to make you laugh
I want to make you want me
But then when you finally relent and want me
And baby maybe we gotta make the sexing a few times
Or maybe we don't
But one thing is for sure
Once you want me
I won't be able to want you anymore

I know, right?

It's how I stay so alone
Even when I am with someone
Or a million someone's
Or whatever.

Anyway. Goodnite and God bless. I'm thinking of your sexy little ass in your bed right now. And I wish that I could find sweet relief between your soft, clingy thighs.


Lover of the chase.
Quitter of all that ever really matters.