0947

Packed a lunch and took the trash out this morning. I threw my lunch down the trash chute instead of the trash. I want to get more sleep.

I feel words pressing against my skin from the inside trying to get out and I do not know what words they are but they are there and it scares me to let them out because maybe I will not like them or want them or maybe they will not like me or want me or maybe I am just afraid of what they will say when they line up in a sentence.

A young guy sat next to me on the train. He smelled like he shit and pissed himself three days ago and has tried to mask the smell with fresh shit and piss. I want to have compassion for his plight but mostly I want to vomit.

I want a lot of things.

I want to read a story about a woman who masturbates while thinking about her father's thick long cock, her father who loves her and never molested her or touched her inappropriately in any way (although she touched his big dick by accident once when they were skinning dipping) and her dad has anal sex with his new wife on cruise ships.