They are filming down the street. Right now.

I opened my front door and walked out to the middle of the street and I turned east. I was wearing my pajamas like I am right now. It was okay because they blocked off the street so no cars could drive there. Into their filming. Nobody would see my retardation. I had no shoes on. It was quiet. And still.

Down the block it was daylight. There are big lights on a crane. There are lights on the back of a truck. There are a lot of bright lights. I wondered why they were filming at night if they wanted it to be so bright when they are filming. But what do I know? I only live in (25 mins away from) Hollywood, I don’t work there.

Earlier I had driven by and saw fake palm trees and two fake police cars. Lots of things in movies and television shows are fake. You know that, right? One time, at my old job, they filmed a scene in the street in front of our building. It was for that spy show with Pam Anderson. The one I only would watch because of her tits. They did a whole car drive down the street really fast then go up a ramp and explode into flame shot. The problem was the shot wasn’t going to happen until two hours after I left for the day. So, what did I do? I stayed the two hours so I could see the explosion. I remember it was hot and that everyone in the conference room with me cheered and clapped and shit. It’s not everyday you see car explosion things where people don’t die.

I just applied to be an extra in Kevin Smith’s new film he just started shooting. If they contact me I am going to do it. I will call in sick to work. I will have a great time. When the movie comes out nobody will be able to see me in all the shots I was in. That’s just how it’s going to go down. I know it. Oh well. Love story