My dad just got back from China. He said some Chinese dude really really really tried to get a look at his dick one time when he used a public toilet. He said the terracotta soldiers were amazing. He climbed the Great Wall. He did yadda yadda touristy things yadda. He said a bunch of other shit that meant it was a good trip.

He said one morning during breakfast at one of the hotels a French dude came and tried to take one of the chairs that was at their table. The lady that was sitting in the chair had left the chair to go get something from the breakfast bar or whatever but the French dude really really kept trying to pull the chair and my dad and his companions really really kept trying to keep the chair and nobody spoke each other’s language so the French dude lost and said some bad words in French maybe or maybe he was being super nice but either which way he ended it with the universal finger sign for fuck you. Then the French dude went back to his table and found some other chair for his buddy and sent the universal sign over to my dad’s table once again. Well, my dad was pretty pissed by this time and then time went on and the French dude left and came back and as he went by my dad’s table he gave him the finger AGAIN so my dad said he stood up, pushed his chair out and STARTED CHASING THE GUY AROUND THE HOTEL BREAKFAST RESTAURANT PLACE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO KICK HIS FUCKING ASS!! Like, they ran around the tables and shit until whatever hotel guys came and held back my dad. ROFLMAO! My dad is 69. 6’ about 210. He said the French dude was maybe 50.

The visual I get from this tale makes me laugh. Good thing my dad didn’t crush the guy cuz he prolly would’ve ended up in Chinese prison and all the Chinese dudes would’ve made him their bitch and I would have to fly to china just to visit my dad for an hour or something.