I’ve like, pissed on my tampon 4800 times today. Men don’t have this problem. Maybe I need to explain this to you. Okay, I will.

Maybe you don’t push your tampon in far enough, or maybe while urinating, your muscles push it out a bit, or maybe you have a vagina with the depth of a thimble, so when you go pee, the pee is absorbed by the end of the tampon that is peeking out of your vagina like a fucking groundhog because pee falls because of gravity and the peehole is typically above the vaginahole and the entire responsibility of a tampon is to absorb female bodily liquids so it soaks up the pee and now you have a tampon that is half full of urine and will squeeze out when you apply pressure like SITTING on it which you cannot help but do unless you are a hairdresser or cashier and stand all day and all the squeezed out pee soaks into your panties and it’s just a disaster. Plus, if a tampon is full of urine it will not absorb period blood because it is at maximum capacity, which renders it meaningless.

So, I think my problem is that when I shove the tampon in, I get scared and stop shoving it at a certain point because I think if I shove it too far, I will experience pain. Keep in mind that it is a TINY PLASTIC TUBE WITH THE DIAMETER AND LENGTH OF A TEST TUBE and that I have been fucked by penises with WAY MORE THAN THIS DIAMETER AND LENGTH so I do not know why I sell my vagina short every time.

Anyway. I’m just sorta drunk right now and pissed about all of my urine soaked tampons today. Tomorrow will be a better day for my vag. I’m just gonna shove those fucking cotton sticks up myself until I choke on them or something.