it's not what i wanted but it was what he wanted and that's all that ever matters this doesnt mean anything this doesnt mean jack shit i just wanted to asdf all over your face with my cock and balls of typing. nawmean? (tyb reference)

who's up for some vegas drunk dialing this weekend? i predict a lot of me yelling into the phone and then responding with WHAT? I CANT HEAR YOU! SORRY! WHAT? ANYWAY! please forgive. you know i love youse guyse.

i could pee right now and soil myself and the bed i am lying upon. i could take a shit and feel it squeeze out of my butcheeks and collect inside my underwear so hot and squishy and odd. when was the last time you crapped your pants? i'm not talking shart i'm talking, full colon release? i think mine was high school. driving home IN WHITE PANTS. the drive was about five minutes too long and man, when your key hits the front door your asshole thinks it's go time and it dont have even one ear to listen when you tell it NOO and that's like a motherfucking frieght train barreling down a hill Unstoppable style. You can't unring that bell. that's fer shur.