I just took a massive dump at work and the guy in the stall next to me dropped his phone and it slid under my toilet and I didn't realize it and I was like Why is this dude talking to me between stalls? And I couldn't understand his gibberish because a giant log was tumbling out of my ass and as I'm zipping up I realize what's going on and his words are comprehensible and I hand him his phone under the wall. Turns out it was one of the top execs at my job, visiting from LA.