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Yet another fake holiday but, you know, let us do our part to support the chocolate-greeting card-floral industrial complex. Terrorists hate our freedom. Thank the lord almighty that there will be no more attacks because we killed a guy with a funny hat and a beard. The need for art has never been greater even though demand has never been lower.

He said, "Sleep is what I dream about," and I said, "This music makes me wish I had velvet furniture."