2332

Hi. I hate it when I can't sleep. And I hate it when every side of every pillow is hot. Also my mouth tastes like sugar right now. It tasted like sugar when I woke up today. My alarm is set for three hours and fifty-five minutes from now. I think I will fall asleep an hour and half before it goes off. Then I can wake up in a daze and the skin on my face and hands will feel gritty becuz I haven't slept enough. And all day tomorrow I will be tired until it is time to go to bed. At which point I will lay there again. Assaulted by fears and failures and conversations with forgotten and or memorized faces. Yeah it's the caffeine but the immobility has been fucking up my brain too. Also the writing. Specifically the lack of. I mean. The words won't type themselves and my disinterested fingers think they are facebook stars. 

Btw sometimes certain ppl get mad when you give emotions to emotionless things like fingers. They say it's bad writing. Idk how I feel about that but I read a lot of bad writing. Mine always feels not bad but as a guy said writing copy is not gonna get it done. Neither is hiding from writing. Right? When I don't write I have to wear a name tag. Or answer some asshole's phone. Or type things in spread sheets. Or wish I was never born. 

I mean. I don't wish I was never born. That's too severe. But like seriously was I born to have a career and a better house than the ppl I laugh at or pretend to not laugh at or whatever and like if that does not work out why do I feel like such a failure? And why am I asking you? And who are you anyway. And why the fuck am I still awake?