You don't understand
I have no words
I think I'm going to die
I don't care
I don't care
It was the craziest night of my life
I'm shaking
You have no idea
I'm calling you because I need redemption
And you know if I say it was the craziest night of my life then
Dude
I have no words
My nana won't even speak to me
I met this guy named Carlos from Rhode Island
I have no idea what he's doing down here
We go to a strip club
I hook up with these two women
The most beautiful women you've ever seen in your life
I can't even tell you
We go to this place that has hot tubs
One of them looked like Shakira
The other looked like a Nubian princess
I'm in the hot tub with both of them
A gram down here is seven bucks
Seven bucks!
And it's the best shit you've ever had in your life
Pure
One is nineteen, the other is twenty
Do you understand?
I was like
Dude, I'm shaking
I'm telling you
Hellnuts
Hellnuts!
The most beautiful women you've ever seen in your life
There are gunshots down here
Do you understand?
You have to understand these women were fighting over five dollars
I was like just take it
It's Christmas
I haven't even tipped my doorman yet
My pupils are shooting out of my head
My pupils are shooting into the solar system
Insane
Insane!
Do you know what it's like to get blown to the sound of gunshots?
!
Do you know?
Unbelievable
I don't even know where to begin
Before that I went to dinner with this stewardess
She doesn't speak English
[ He doesn't speak Spanish ]
She's beautiful
She wants me to meet her family
Do you understand a gram is seven bucks?
My nana thought I got kidnapped
She won't even look at me
You can get one for each nostril for less than fifteen bucks
I was tossing it in the air
I was throwing it all over these women
You know how when you are in your apartment alone and you realize the best times of your life are over and all you have to look forward to is a beer gut from hell when you're 40?
You know?
It's not like that down here
It's like fucking "Cocoon" down here
You get reborn
I'm telling you
I was with "She Wolf"
The other one is calling me, telling me she loves me and wants me to take her back to America
I have no words
So what's going on there?
I'm going to go because this phone call is costing me seventeen dollars
