Once upon a time there was a man who won five dollars via a scratch-off lottery ticket. He took the ticket to a stinky gas station slash foodmart near his compound and a kind of sexy hillbilly chick with blue eyes and a neck tattoo - she was working there btw - she said "DO YOU WANT MONEY OR SOMETHING ELSE?"

She didn't actually yell or anything. I just felt like typing in all caps. 

Anyway. The man was wondering what else he could have beside money. Becuz like he'd never had longslowhead from a hillbilly with a neck tattoo before - ok actually he has - lots of times - fucking sue me - I live in Ohio - no wait - I don't mean me - I mean he - him - the guy with the winning lottery ticket -

you know

your hero

the main character of this stupid story


the one with the coffee right next to him. Iced coffee. 

Whatever. When it was all said and done the handsome debonaire hombre took the five bucks. 

But not before thinking about the fantasy bj like a pervert. 
Like an incarcerated.
A teenage virgin.
Or an unemployed.

He thought about it ok. After that he bought a vitamin water drink that tasted like Kool-Aid with not enough sugar added. Fucking disgusting. 

Call me. 

You know I'm waiting for you, baby.

We can gas up the Charger and be out of here before they realize we're gone.