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My Sweet Vacationing 33,

I apologize for being a bad Internet friend. While I feel that it is the general consensus of everyone living that my elephant story was the best you had last summer, I am unable to repeat my greatness this year. For that, I am humbly sorry, Madame. Please know that I truly apologize.

There is a problem here in Hillbillia. Fiction will no longer come out of my fingers. Maybe it is from writing copy or maybe it is becuz I'm afraid of something like failure or whatever OR
MAYBE
JUST MAYBE
our hero, upon realizing how hard he would have to work to succeed, not to mention the ass kissing etc etc,  decided that Nine Life was just about all he needed.

Whatever the case, I beg your forgiveness. You are still gay and so is your life outside of me, never forget that, but I feel crummy about not writing a story for you. Because I know you would write one for me.

Warmest Regards,
Tyrell Augustus Bsmith III, DDS, MBA, CPA, ESQ, MD, Phd.