Hey, look, if I told you something would you promise to laugh at me and tell me I am ridiculous? What I have done deserves that response. But not doing what I have done deserves the same response. 'Cause, look, life is a big fucking joke, right? If life is not a joke, how do you explain Lady GaGa? Or Twitter? I am full of questions, right? I JO'd twice today and came so hard it was almost as good as fucking. Orgy porn. I just want to love you. And you do not have to love me back. In fact, do not love me back. That would be better because then you would know that my love is real. And look, my wicked red-hot-tweetie pot, I will only mostly come in your face when you ask me to unless you do not ask me enough and then it will be pretty much your fault, right? I have nothing else to say and I have not even really said anything at all to begin with so I am sorry I wasted your time. Although, that is also kind of your fault. Wait wait wait. I do have something to tell you: eat shit and live. And brush your teeth before you go to bed, stank breath. Word life.