Today Big D jumped into my office trying to scare me and he did and then he didn’t leave for 30 minutes while he talked about his brand new ailment that has caused him to lose 30 pounds. I have been on vacations and he has been to the doctors for many times so I haven’t seen him in a while I guess but today I was like, wow, you’ve lost a lot of weight and he confirmed that fact.

Big D talked to me and he has a nice bald head. It has these sort of bulldog folds to the top of it. He has beautiful dark brown eyes. He doesn’t stand still much when we talk. He moves around. Picks things up. Touches his belly. The doorframe. Paces.

He said things have changed for him since he has gotten this ailment. He said he is afraid it is going to get worse. He said the doctors said he will never be cured but hopefully they can try to get the pain to where it is manageable. He said he never thought he’d be a person who has to live with constant pain.

He says when he first wakes up in the morning he has no pain and for a minute or so, before he gets out of bed, he prays that it will stay gone, but as soon as he gets up and starts moving, there it is.

I felt really bad for Big D. We’ve known each other for almost 11 years now. I remember when he gave me a ride in the first hot rod he had. He was showing off and he really almost smashed the car while he was flooring it down this street in the industrial area we worked in. That was because 11 years ago we were both a lot younger and stupider. He sold that car since then. Sold the motorcycle (riceburner) too, bought a truck. He wants to bring his mom up to Tahoe with his girlfriend. Says she’s never been there before.

He said he can’t watch the news anymore because it makes him too upset. Asked me why do they have to always show so much bad shit all the time? Then he kind of paused and laughed, shaking his head like he was embarrassed sort of, like, in a Can you believe what a pussy I am kind of way?

I told him to start watching cartoons.