I tried inhaling Dustoff. It didn’t go too well on account of I didn’t press the lever in order to release the dustoff into my mouth. All that happened was I had a really bad chemical taste stuck to the side of my mouth and lips for like an hour until I showered. I really wanted to kill some brain cells too. Oh well. Next time maybe.

You should be proud of me because, for once, I used up all of the produce in my produce bin. All I have been eating for dinner is salad. The salads I make are gigantic. They are salads for horses. I basically take a large mixing bowl and start throwing shit from my produce bin into it. When it is full, I take a pair of scissors and I cut the fuck out of all the shit in the mixing bowl. Then I put salad dressing on it. Then I mix it. Then I grab a paper towel and a large glass of water and I sit in front of a television and eat it. It is good food.

Temple City.
I took a bath this evening. The last time I took a bath was 1997 or maybe last year. I did not go into the bath/shower with the intention of taking a bath. I was actually planning on taking a shower but somewhere between me peeing in the shower and picking up the razor to shave my legs, the decision was made to turn it into a bath.

I plugged the drain thing and turned the water all the way to hot and I sat down then I lay lie laid down and waited for the water to rise so I would stop feeling stupid and hardly wet. Once it got over my pubic hair I turned it off and just sat there quietly. It was so nice and hot and relaxing and my body began to melt. After I enjoyed the melting for three minutes I was bored and decided to masturbate. I thought about a girl.man.girl threesome in which one of the girls does not touch the man and the man cannot touch the girl but the girl can touch the girl and the man can put his parts close to the girl who cannot touch the man, like her face and her mouth and that sort of thing. I came thinking about the man jacking off and coming on the girl who CAN touch the man’s face while the other girls face was up close to all of the semen action. Then I drained the water and got out of the bathtub.

Otto will be missed. I hope he doesn’t get murdered. I hope when he gets back he will read everything he missed on The Nine and feel bad that he wasn’t here. One day, when I meet Rotto, I want him to cry while we are in the midst of a tender and meaningful heart to heart and then I want to lean in and lick the tears from his face and make him laugh and thus, break the intimate moment with retardation all due respect.

1. I didn’t inhale DustOff
2. I didn’t waste produce.
3. I didn’t take a shower
4. I didn’t say I wouldn’t lick Rotto’s tears.