1] She said that when she is on her period she does not feel useful.
2] Someone sent me this IM: "Holy shit. I just looked down at my ass to look right at it and ask 'are you really still farting???' Also i belched and scared lingering rodentia away from window!"
3] I almost typed something important but I forgot what it was and it was not that having suicidal friends is interesting. Well, allegedly suicidal. If they were really suicidal, they would not be that interesting because they would be dead, but the attention-seekers that get really close to the edge before realizing they are cowards are endless fun, especially if you are the one that calls 911 because of a "see you in the next life" voicemail. Sarcasm is overrated.
4] The toilets at work are low-pressure because we care about the environment. They are so low-pressure we have to flush twice.
5] Short conversation:
"I don't like to explain myself."
6] It smells like bacon on the platform at 14th Street.
7] I texted her: "I am thinking about the last time you stayed here and the grip I had on you and the way you turned in my arms and we kissed, and sometimes I open my eyes in the morning just to see you and I close them before you see me just so I can open them again to your face washed in early light."
8] Go fuck your mother.